he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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