I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
