Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize