i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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