Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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