i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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