Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
