yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
