what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
