just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
