i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
