talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
