i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
