That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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