I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
