I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
