So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
two words...techno handjob
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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