turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
