belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize