Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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