I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
