She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize