can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
