Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Randomize
