Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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