3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
