hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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