So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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