so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my being single is dangerous.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
