pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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