i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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