What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
