hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
