he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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