"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
