So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How does it feel to date your dad?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
