I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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