yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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