Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
