just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
