So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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