wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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