her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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