WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
