So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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