im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we have officially lost it.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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