i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think your dad took our porno
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
