dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
