butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
