I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
