Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
