i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
