we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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