Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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