sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
