On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My dick has a subreddit
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
