this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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