Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
