I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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