Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
