it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
