Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
