anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
