Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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