You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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