Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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