never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize