Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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