watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
